Victimhood is sometimes a double-edged sword. There are people who choose to chronicle their position as victims because they discover that it brings them more benefits than costs.

Manipulative victimhood is present in many personality types. Thus, it is common for it to appear, for example, among narcissists, among those who are specialized in emotional blackmail and even among those who make use of this behavior to obtain some benefit.

The victim, in one way or another, is always protected from the criticism of others . In addition, she has the compassion and understanding of many, whatever she does. In fact, whoever dares to question the acts of an alleged victim passes for insensitive or heartless.

Victimhood is, therefore, in many cases, a strategy that represents more benefits than problems.

This condition allows them to have a kind of immunity whereby everything they say is true, everything they do is well-intentioned, everything they think is legitimate. Now,  in more than one case, this calculated victimization, consciously or unconsciously, conceals a clear blackmail .

Authentic victims and justifiable care

There are, of course, real situations https://anjibazar.ru/user/profile/575335 of victimization such as when someone has been abused, or overindulged, without having the possibility to react.

  • For example, if a person is assaulted in the street or mistreated by another who holds a power that he cannot face: the power of a weapon, a uniform, a position, etc.
  • This type of situation originates an objective condition of victimization. However, this condition is not eternal, nor does it have to be a seal that the person takes wherever they go.
  • After leaving the situation of concrete powerlessness, continuing in the role of victim is an option, not an unappealable reality .

One thing is certain: the victim demands attention, care, support and affection . He needs that dedication and understanding to get out of her shocked and vulnerable state. That is not in dispute.

Victimhood as an existential position

What does lend itself to debate is victimhood as an existential position. That a traumatic event becomes the eternal cover letter . And not precisely to bear witness to an execrable act, but to gain privileges that would not otherwise be obtained.

They are the kind of people who ayosditoph.com make their pains, carefully exposed, a living resume .

In other more serious cases, some believe that having been victims in a situation gives them a letter of marque to hate or harm others. 

That is to say, believe it or not, there are people who assume and chronicize the condition of victim because they have discovered that by feeding that state, they obtain much more profit.

Recognizing manipulative victimhood

There are some signs that account for this circle of manipulation established by those who make victimhood their way of life. The main ones are:

  • The victimizer does not directly ask for what he wants, but rather sends imprecise messages in the form of a complaint or regret.

For example, they suddenly tell you: “ Nobody knows how much it cost me to get here ”. So you don’t know if he wants you to recognize the merit, if he is claiming you because it didn’t cost you the same, or if he wants you to help him for something in particular.

  • You feel more or less guilty when you are with that person . Every conversation you have with her leaves you with the impression of being responsible for something, but you can’t define it. There is a sadness or a vague discomfort with yourself.
  • The victimizer is also suspicious and distrustful .
  • It frequently alerts you to bad intentions in others and justifies their bad actions in their past suffering. In fact, he may accuse you of insensitivity or laziness if you criticize him.
  • He is capable of making great sacrifices for others, without being asked . He will show off it.

When someone exhibits these traits, we are dealing with a person who has assumed the role of victim in the face of life.

How to act in the face of manipulative victimhood?

Studies reveal the clear need to delve into the figure of the victim and victimhood. Thus, something that we must be clear about is that behind this profile is unhappiness. Even more, what there is in many cases is the clear difficulty in closing the cycle of their traumatic experience.

They therefore need our understanding, but also our sincerity. The best way to help someone like that is to tell her affectionately and directly what we think of her attitude towards her. You don’t have to fall into their game, you don’t have to give in. However, neither can we act with contempt or raising armor with which to intensify their behavior.

Victimhood is the mark of low self-esteem. It is the poorly healed wound that sometimes seeks to be the center of attention to cover up its loneliness and discomfort. The only way to end these dynamics is to get that person to seek professional help.

A victim will always deserve our respect, but the moment he makes use of victimization to obtain reinforcements and benefits , what he demands is psychological assistance to adequately deal with his personal reality.

Previous articleIs there a relationship between the order of the brothers and their personality?
Next articleRollo May: biography of the father of existential psychology