I take a cue from a recent television program to illustrate a frequent profile both in outpatient cases presented by third parties, and in the legal field. These are those pictures characterized by a pathological lie , habitual or recurrent, in characters who usually have a certain relational instability or in all areas of life.
What are pathological lies
The pathological lie is to be understood not as an unpleasant lie for those who suffer it (parents, partners, etc.), rather as a tendency to tell implausible facts, to inflate in a clearly unbelievable way, to falsify documents or evidence of the factswho want to support and deny the evidence of facts that others discover or contest, all but without a general strategy and with the result of leading to conflicts, legal troubles, or relational disasters.
In other words, the pathological liar cannot lieand he has luck only at the beginning, when those who know him trust him as he would give it to anyone with whom he enters into confidence. For this reason, the most affected figures are parents and partners, but often also employers or partners. The pathological liar does not have a practical, concrete aim (like the scammer), but has the aim of provoking reactions of admiration and amazement in others or even of compassion and respect for stories of wrongs or injustices suffered (this version is more often female ), or admiration and envy of grandiose feats and performances (this version is more often male).
Pathological liars know how to lie by virtue of their “dissociated” statein which they do not feel the embarrassment, the discomfort or the annoyance of reciting the false. The lack of shame and embarrassment to tell the false also produces the pathological excess with respect to the lie itself, that is, it makes it excessive, unlikely, ridiculous and such as to make those who say it appear as a character seeking attention and unable to establish a relationship. sincere and simple with others, which is replaced by various bragging rights, shots and inventions.
The bipolar and liar
The inability to admit the lie is also supported by the lack of shame, so the pathological liar will deny the false by convincing the listener to be sincere. This euphoric and dissociated state is one of the possible manifestations of bipolar disorder in its manic phasesand often it is the basis for court cases of false accusations, confessions of non-existent crimes, accusations and unsubstantiated calls.
The already known name of these syndromes is that of Munchausen syndrome or fantastic pseudology , and one of the most common forms that doctors observe and the pathological lie of a sanitary type, both about oneself and about people under their control (patients, children, elderly). People declare and sometimes falsify, even hurting themselves or running the risk of diseases that are usually vague and indeterminate, even going so far as to be operated on or intoxicated by unnecessary medicines, all to take on the role of misunderstood and suffering sick., as well as the highest authority on his own illness, almost in competition and in opposition to the doctors he addresses.
Often the pathological liar joins characters contiguous by profession, but superior in rank to enter into a kind of false friendship in which there is a seed of hatred and revenge, as if he were to prove that he is worth more, first making friends with the older, then trying to put them in difficulty or to overcome them in the consideration of others.
The pathological lie in reality: a news story
An episode of Amore Criminale tells of a case of this kind that took place in Bari, which took on the tints of stalking and culminated in a murder.
A 30-year-old boy has a relationship with a 47-year-old woman, she is an established professional in the world of theater, he is a salesman. The relationship proceeds, but he proves to be intrusive and above all embarrassing on public occasions . In an exuberant and confidential manner, in front of relatives and friends he tells unlikely anecdotes or experiences, including a fight with a shark in the sea from which he would have suffered a serious injury. Her friends tell of how the boy’s influence was to shower her with her attention and interest and make her feel that he needed her, as her acquaintances testify.
His manifestations of love were there, numerous and dense, but in the eyes of others they were out of tune due to a difference in style (more discreet, cerebral and with an attention to taste and quality for her, repetitive and childish that of him) . He turns up his relationship with a younger girl, and he proves he wants to carry them both on. This ambiguity then becomes intolerable when the other begins to persecute the woman with messages.
The crisis of the relationship does not cause a cooling of tones on the part of him which, on the contrary, exacerbates his characteristics and seems to know no other language than that of exuberance and blatant and sometimes direct manifestation.(for example by invading her working spaces and relationships) and with the implicit blackmail of showing oneself astonished and indignant in case he is criticized for this apparent “spontaneity”.
The more time passes, the more he “imposes himself”, for example by secretly making a copy of the keys to be found at home when he returns, halfway between surprise and control. He reacts very badly to her explicit refusal, when she leaves him due to the continuing betrayal and persecution by the other. He poses as a woman on Facebookand dispenses advice in favor of himself, as if it came precisely from a disinterested source (in this we can see, for example, the ingenuity and childish character of these expedients, which could have little effect on decisions that are now advanced and motivated about their relationship) .
Curious and the behavior shortly before the crime. He sends a bouquet of flowers to the younger girl, who refuses it, at which he changes the note and sends the florist to the other’s work. After which he tries on the same day he contacts other friends for evening invitations, but he is unsuccessful.
The epilogue of the win and that of a stalking and the ending is the worst. Even in the murderhe, being able to avoid it, clumsily sets up an attempt to mislead him, that is, through facebook he enters her profile and pretends that she had invited strangers to the house, and staged the remains of a sexual encounter that ended in violence at home. She uses the phone with the result of being located in a different place than what she declares as an alibi. She enters with the keys, without simulating break-ins. No strategy, just a stunt that he managed for a short time (in the newspapers the “track” of the sexual encounter gone bad made headlines) but only serves to make himself better discovered.
The lying bipolar can be violent
In order not to create alarmism, it should be noted that people with bipolar disorder are not necessarily “unpredictable” and not necessarily violent. With a generic violence there is no particular connection and then the bipolar syndromes are very different from each other. In this type of syndromes, i.e. those in which there is a pathological lie and especially if there is also alcohol or drug abuse, the risk increases. Intrusive, physically intrusive behaviors such as breaking into the home or breaking into the workplace are an element of alertness.
Given the reverberating nature of these “excited” phases, each response feeds the initiatives of the insistent and threatening partner, whether it is a window of opportunity for dialogue and reconciliation or a message of clear closure, in any way sent, either by mobile phone or via other people. A worrying signal in this sense and when in response to messages of “dislike”, “closure” and rejection, re-launch responses are immediately followed, as if nothing had happened, declarations of love or invitations.
The fact is that the subject in the manic phase, when he receives a refusal, a stop, cannot conceive that there is a reason and sees a “personal” refusal as the only reason, that is a manifestation of hostility: in the egocentric dimension of the manic phase the person has no reason to say no, if not a sort of personal and hostile opposition, an unjust provocation, an undeserved and paradoxical devaluation of one’s right to have, to conquer , to consume and to move on. This gives rise to violent reactions or abrupt and hostile mood swings after endless insistence with gentle ways and attempts at seduction and persuasion.
