Are you in an unhealthy relationship that you don’t know how to get out of? 

You feel unhappy more times than you feel happy. Your friends have gotten tired of telling you to quit. Your family is no longer involved and at work they know that your watery eyes are not from allergies. Still you cannot make the decision to leave your partner.

Getting out of an unhealthy relationship isn’t easy at all, and for many people it’s not even an option. While some people “don’t understand” why someone is still in a relationship, it is true that it is not an easy thing to solve. There are many factors that help the unhealthy relationship continue far beyond what one can tolerate. Fears, lack of self-esteem, shame, economic dependence and even threats make many women stay in a bad relationship for many years, even if they feel completely unhappy.

It’s like a vicious circle that you can’t get out of. And these are some of the reasons:

1. Low self-esteem and insecurity:  Women with low self-esteem or low self-esteem tend to have unhealthy relationships. If they don’t love and respect themselves, they can expect little from the other. These relationships are very common, unfortunately. There are girls who think that they are not smart enough or pretty enough to have another partner. They think that if they separate, no one else will love them. Women do not feel sure that they can embark on a new path without their partner. In many cases, they blame themselves for the failures of the relationship or although they know that their partner is cheating or lying to them, they do not confront their boyfriends or husbands because they fear that they will leave them, forever.

2. Fear:  Fear is a factor that paralyzes people. A woman with fear will do little to improve the situation in which she lives, but rather she will put her energies into preventing it from getting worse. It may be fear of being alone, or fear that her partner will hit her or threaten her if she wants to get out of the relationship. If a man or partner knows that the other is afraid, he will also use that to her advantage. And nothing good can come from a relationship based on fear.

3. Normality: It  sounds very strange, but it is more common than you think. Many women only know the abuse or the feeling of dissatisfaction. They do not know that there is something much better. That there is respect, mutual love and that the opportunity to have a healthy and happy relationship exists for everyone.

4. Children:  Many women stay with their partners because they have children and do not dare to raise them alone, or they want their children to have a father present in the house. What happens here is that, as the children grow, they become aware of the tension and relationship of the parents, something that definitely affects their growth and the way they will relate in the future.

5. Change:  Some women stay with their partners because they believe they can “make her change.” They believe that her boyfriend, husband or lover will change for her and they will finally be happy. For some girls, it takes a long time and a lot of frustration to realize that their partner will not change, unfortunately.

6. Financial dependency:  Some women know that they no longer love their partner, they are unhappy and miserable, but they have no job, no money, no place to go and they don’t know where to ask for help to get ahead. Although there are dozens of community organizations, support groups and centers specialized in helping women in these situations, many of them do not dare to seek support in these groups and continue in an unhealthy relationship.

The worst thing that can be done when we see a woman in an unhealthy relationship is to judge her and assume that it is her decision to be there. Getting out of a bad relationship is really hard, but possible. Seeking specialized help, creating a plan and asking for help from friends to stay on your feet during the first months is one of the ways to start.

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