To catch your honor, the questionnaire begins with Calatayud, where you never have to ask about Dolores. And the judge, who knows a lot but not everything, admits that we’ve caught him. Emilio Calatayud (Ciudad Real, 1955) imparts justice in the juvenile court of Granada. His oratorical virtues and his forcefulness, today politically incorrect, of calling bread, bread and wine, wine, have made him a media magistrate. In little less than five years hangs the toga. That says now…
-Do honor to your last name. What is the name of Calatayud
Well, he caught me.
-Bilbilitan.
-Oh, it’s true, yes.
-That was a difficult question. Complete the verses of this stanza: If you go to Calatayud, / ask for Dolores…
-Ehhh. She’s a girl, I don’t know what… I was there at the Dolores sale.
-That a couplet killed her / of shame and disappointments.
-I didn’t know that. But I’ve been there three times.
-You were such a garment as a kid
-It’s gossip. Well, yes, I have done everything, as was done at that time. As a child, as a young man… we have been doing mischief all our lives.
-What sentence would the Calatayud judge have imposed on the Calatayud boy
-The one they gave me: intern in Campillos and working in a garage.
-Keep a sense of humor after studying at Campillos and studying for a degree at Deusto. What a merit!
-Yes, the turns that life gives. I was in Campillos one summer, when I was 13 years old, because I failed eight. Then I approved the eight and two revalidation groups. And in February, the third group revalidates. But in fifth grade they loaded me with four and put me in a workshop 300 meters from my school: to change tires, wash trucks, unload trucks and so on. And there I straightened up a little bit.
-If they catch him making the switch in the Administrative Law exam, he won’t end up as a judge…
-Man, of course, I won’t even end up as a lawyer. But they didn’t catch me. It is the game of life and death. At that time there was always copying and the teacher’s fight was not to copy and the students’ fight was to copy. I played it and it went well. It is the only 10 I have in the race.
-The lads of today know more about law than Perry Mason
-Yes, yes, and than Ironside. What happens is that they are already with the new technologies, but the children of today are very read and write a lot.
-With all due respect, you scar the shit out of people with that loud voice and that way of saying things.
-It impresses but they are used to it. People know me by the voice even if I wear the mask. I have to impress the kids something. A choricilla of mine came many years ago to a trial with her child, who must have been a few months old, and told me: “Don Emilio, don’t talk like that, my child is shitting.”
-Do you attest after years of judicial career that common sense is the least common of the senses
-It is the least common of the senses and is essential to apply Justice.
-Smoke and drink. Don’t your children scold you
-Yes, but I’m already quitting smoking. And I drink the normal: my beer and from time to time my mixed drink. Everything in moderation is good.
-Jean-Paul Sartre said that “hell is other people”. In some cases, they make you want to say, like the Three Wise Men, that “hell is the parents.”
-Well yes. And the sons. As I always say: small children, small problems; Big kids, bigger problems, and bigger kids, bigger problems. You take off the problem when you die.
“More than 5,000 kids that I condemn have thanked me and I’ll have a beer with some”
-If there are associations that defend the rights “of boys and girls”, are you perhaps a judge of minors and minors
-Yes, of those who are under 18 years old… But one no longer knows what they are: minors, minors, pansexuals, asexuals… No one knows anymore. Also, now I will be able to change sex and you are now talking about the same thing with a judge.
-He says openly that the cell phone is a drug, would he ban it before the age of 16
-Before the age of 14, yes. Everything can be prohibited here, even calling things by their name.
-Yes, because you don’t bite your tongue.
-As my wife says: for what I have left in the convent…
-Children and teenagers don’t let their parents tease them but with social networks they show off their lives even in Vladivostok. Isn’t that a contradiction
-Yes, minors have lost their privacy and then they get angry with their parents because they search their cell phones.
-He abandoned his love for Madrid because his players advertised bookmakers. He would have given up soccer, the movies… everything, right
-I watch fewer and fewer movies and soccer has disappointed me a lot. I am merengue and from Granada, but I don’t like the sponsorship of bookmakers. I’m ashamed.
-Do we need more models like Rafa Nadal and less like Cristiano Ronaldo
-Of course. I don’t know Nadal, but I do know his uncle Toni and he is an example.
-How many waiters have thanked you when they became adults
-Many, I can’t tell you a number, but more than 5,000. I have friends whom I condemned for a long time. They thank me and we have a beer when we see each other on the street.
-What do you think of the youth riots in Catalonia in the name of independence or freedom of expression
-There are more fools than little bottles. They are gangs organized and subsidized by I don’t know who. It should be punished more.
-Any comments on the organic law for the comprehensive protection of children and adolescents against violence, aka Rhodes Law
-I don’t understand anything you’ve told me. Look, I don’t believe anything until it comes out in the Official State Gazette.
-He assures that in Spain we do not have a middle ground and we are very politically correct. Is society infantilized
-Society is idiotic, we are sick.
-He has been a judge for 41 years and can retire. Bad children and disabled parents will not see the time…
-I do not think so. I took office on October 31, 1980, so calculate. I will continue as long as my body holds out and the politicians don’t touch my nose. My idea is to retire at 70, although I could continue until 72.
