Children who do not love their parents often show problems in other affective relationships. That lack of love is a burden that prevents them from creating friendships or relationships in which they feel good.
Reciprocal love between children and parents seems to be a taken-for-granted truth . However, it is not so. There are children who do not love their parents and this does not constitute a pathology, nor does it mean that it is typical of “unnatural beings”. It is a reality that is forged in certain circumstances.
Talking about children who do not love their parents is something that should not be taken literally. Unless there is some limitation or deficiency, children are always linked to their parents through affection; what does not always happen is that these affections are positive , but feelings of hatred, resentment and, of course, also indifference can prevail.
Sometimes it is also the case that apparently there are children who do not love their parents, but what really happens is that the affection is repressed or inhibited . This means that it is not expressed, or is manifested inadequately, but it is present. Why and how does it come to this?
” Every day of our lives we make deposits in our children’s memory banks .”
-Charles R. Swindoll-
Children who do not love their parents by mirror effect
One of the reasons why there are glasfaserforum.ch children who do not love their parents is the so-called mirror effect. It occurs when the parents have not shown affection to the children. It is common for children to learn to relate to their parents in this way as well: coldly .
In these http://forum.ttpforum.de/member.php?action=profile&uid=186429 cases, what there is is a lack that blocks or limits affective development . The father, consciously or unconsciously, establishes a break in the relationship with his son: “don’t go beyond here”. He conveys parkrunmoscow.ru to her the idea that the bond should not include affection, but should be limited to a functional and practical relationship.
Under these conditions, it is most likely that the child will not learn to relate to the world through affects. He gives what he has received: indifference. This cuts off an important dimension of her being. It could be said that it is one of the circumstances in which love is inhibited, but it is not non-existent .
Abandonment and http://www.a6859.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=77884 its levels
Another reason why there are children who do not love their parents is abandonment . When it is absolute, there is not even the possibility of exploring the link. What is common in these cases is that the absent father is idealized or rejected in response to the rejection received.
However, abandonment does not only refer to cases where one or both parents are not present. There is also abandonment when, even living with the child, they are dragonone-ng.com not interested in him and delegate his upbringing to third parties . Likewise, when they do not offer their support at crucial moments.
In these cases, the children feel that their parents have failed them in something fundamental. This generates the idea of not being able to count on them, as well as mistrust and distance. It is very common for this to turn into heartbreak over time, especially if that abandonment is systematic .
Being victims of parents
In some cases , there are children who do not love their parents because they have been their victims. Usually this has to do with abusive situations, be it emotional, physical or sexual . Such situations have caused great damage and have left scars that prevent the development of a healthy emotional bond with parents.
When a child learns to see his father as an aggressor, the emotion that is sown is hatred . This can be deaf or explicit. The usual thing is that in children there is bewilderment and anger; growing up, these emotions turn into a strong rejection, of which, in addition, they feel guilty on many occasions.
A human being learns to love himself and others based on that primary bond he has with his parents . The love that can be given to a child is never too much, because with each smile, with each hug, with each show of interest, the path is being cleared for him to advance in life. The silences, the distances and the ill-treatment decisively hinder this progress.