Although we are already mature people and many are even quite advanced in age, it is very common to go to therapy or any type of personal process to work on the relationship with our parents . That is why today I will share with you my own experience with this article for those people whose relationship with their parents is based on continuous discussions .

When we were younger, our parents controlled what we ate, how we dressed, what we thought about life, our future careers, and even who we associated with. In fact, the feeling of control and the need for independence is one of the main claims of most adolescents. Thus, even being older, many of  us have felt without voice or vote in many of the things that happened in our lives before our parents.

Why is my relationship with my parents still so complicated? 

Parents often make the kinds of decisions I listed earlier until we’re teenagers. Of course,  children need that kind of protection and assistance when they are young, since they are not mature enough to take care of themselves or make decisions about important and vital issues of their existence.

But, as time goes by we grow up and become teenagers . Thus, part of being a teenager is developing your own unique identity as a human being, an identity that is different from that of your parents. It is completely normal that at these ages we have our own opinions, ideas https://public.sitejot.com/rsnigac713.html and values ​​about life. All this unique inner mix is ​​precisely what prepares us for adulthood .

The real problem appears when, despite the fact that you have grown up, assumed responsibilities and directed your life, your parents continue to treat you like the child you were because they think you are still that. All this motivated by psychological factors.

Another common reason for these difficult relationships is the possibility that your parents are still having a hard time adjusting to change . Why? Because their role now is more difficult than when you were a child, then they decided and assumed responsibility, now they can advise and it is you who will bear the responsibility for what you do. On the other hand, acknowledging that you have grown and have moved on to another stage means acknowledging that the years have also passed for them and that they now have different life challenges.

In most families, it is this adaptation process that usually causes many arguments between parents and children, even at advanced ages . It is usual to have to go to a consultation because our mother and/or father generates https://atavi.com/share/vis8w4z15roin insecurity for us by deciding for us or by causing us problems with our current partner.

Considering a new direction in your professional life, moving to a farther city, getting together with a person that they “don’t like” … are very frequent confrontations between parents and children during the first years of our adulthood. The dissonance generated by these conflicts or experiences makes us angry and often involves immense emotional wear .

These are discussions that demand a large part of our strength and that generate insecurity in us since it is not easy for the person who grows up to face the challenges that they have. This wear and tear can generate anger and resentment, since that strength and confidence are often needed when the dreams we want to pursue are complicated and there are already too many obstacles along the way.

It is good to take into account in these cases a possible reflection that I myself had a hard time integrating into my own life: “ Our parents get angry because they are not used to not having control or because they do not agree with the decisions of a person already an adult.”

It is very common to end up very hurt and wounded internally in this type of conflict.  More complex issues can trigger even stronger arguments because your parents will always try http://bioimagingcore.be/q2a/user/broughscod to protect you, ensure your well-being and safety, no matter how old you are.

And how can we overcome this difficult family situation?

So far, everything I have told you has a possible solution . The good news is that  in many families these kinds of fights subside as parents come to terms with the idea that their children are entitled to their own opinions and identity that may be quite different from their own.

If the situation continues over time, our communication skills, the assertiveness we show , our emotional intelligence  will be our great allies.

Make an https://www.a34z.com/user/profile/23387 effort to communicate with your parents as best you can .

Many times we can think that it is impossible that our parents could not be able to understand our point of view and would never change , but the act of speaking and expressing your opinions in an intelligent and loving way can help you earn the respect of your parents , being able to reach satisfactory agreements for both parties and a normal and healthy quality of life.

If obviously after giving part of your heart with this whole process and not seeing improvements in the relationship, another option is to put ourselves in the hands of a specialist. Because it is important? Because your query has surely already passed some other case like ours and because the participation of someone neutral in the dialogue, or a person understood as neutral by both parties to the conflict, means that what he says is understood as truthful by both parties.

A piece of advice that I used myself several times and made my parents begin to change the way they “feel” about me was to tell them and make them take into account that they too have been younger and gone through the same stage of life . They can perfectly empathize with us in most cases and get an idea of ​​what we are going through.

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